


Landslide

by pendentivelover



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 12:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5928025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pendentivelover/pseuds/pendentivelover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester.  He’d saved your life.  That’s the only thought that entered your mind every time you lay your eyes on him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Landslide

Sam Winchester. He’d saved your life. That’s the only thought that entered your mind every time you lay your eyes on him. He’d offered you an alternative to the dangerous life you’d been living for almost two years. You reveled in it, getting lost in the library of the Bunker. You loved the words and lore swimming before your eyes daily, always in the position to help, but never having to be out there. It worried you, made you wonder just how selfish you could be that you didn’t like the danger of being on a hunt anymore, if ever you had. You would rather be within the walls of the Bunker, knowing that nothing could reach you. Nothing could scare you or hurt you ever again.

You self-consciously raised your hand, gently rubbing the scars on the right side of your neck. It was a nervous habit you had now. You realized what you were doing and quickly brought your hand back to the book on the table. You flipped through a few more pages before you leaned back in your chair. As much as you loved reading about the supernatural, it was hell on your back after constantly pouring over, and sometimes struggling, through every word. You stood, pushing the chair back, and stretched, your hands raised together over your head. 

“Hey, Y/N.” You turned, a little startled, but not surprised to find Sam behind you. You continued stretching, ever aware of the hem of your shirt grazing against your belly button. That definitely hadn’t changed; you were a consummate flirt. He stopped in front of you, and you saw him glance down. His dimples deepened. 

“Hey, Sam! Check you out.” You said, letting a lilt hitch in your voice. You looked him up and down, just as you always do. You like the blush that always darkens his cheeks. He nervously rubbed his hands and looked around. 

“Well, it IS a library.” He said softly, emphasizing. You stared for a moment. Had he just…? You grin, teeth showing. 

“Sam Winchester, as I live and breathe, did you just flirt with me?” You can’t help the laugh that bolts out. But you were wary, too. Your flirtations were a defense mechanism, meant to shield you from any harm. You expected nothing from those you flirted with. But Sam… Sam was more than that. And that could hurt, too. 

“I—I’m trying.” Sam said, grimacing. You reach over and pat him on the shoulder. 

“I give you an A for effort.” You said. Sam let out a soft laugh and shook his head, his mane of beautiful brown hair floating down into his eyes. You tear your eyes away. “So, did you need something in particular?” 

He did, in fact. There was a case not far from the Bunker, just a local incident that had piqued his interest. You liked how he explained it, as if he hadn’t been searching for a reason to get out of the Bunker. You settle into a rhythm with him as both of you searched the shelves, picking out a book here and a book there. Both of you came away with an armload. You settled comfortably into the seat you’d occupied and pushed the books there aside. Sam glanced at them before sitting down with his own armload.

“Vampires again?” He asked lightly. You looked up, feeling a small amount of heat on your neck. You nodded. 

“Can’t help it. It’s become an obsession almost.” It was true. It had become an obsession. You’d eaten up anything that involved vampires from lore to fiction, even the weird romantic ones. You had lost count of how many times you’d read Dracula. And, you wouldn’t admit it, but Twilight had gotten its teeth in you, even if it was ridiculous. You shook your head a little, trying to get back into the rhythm. But you could feel Sam’s eyes on you, and you looked up. 

“I’m sorry. About everything.” He said. Your heart ached. You looked away, pulling a book closer to you and flipping it open. 

“Sam, you have nothing to apologize for. What happened to… to me… It’s not your fault.” You tried to keep the emotions out of your voice. It’d been close to three years and the pain hadn’t lessened. If anything, it was clearer. 

“I know. I’m just…sorry.” You looked up and met his hazel eyes. The depth of those eyes will give you dreams later, nightmares over the grief you find there. You wanted that grief to disappear; you wanted to be the one to wipe that grief away. Sam deserved the world. 

-

Your alarm went off too early, and you pounded down on the snooze button. Rolling over onto your back, you let out a breath. Why you tried to live a set schedule was beyond you. You shouldn’t have to get up early, but, as you realize, you’re not going back to sleep. And that’s worse than barely sleeping at all. Sweeping your legs over the side of the bed, you sit up. You were going to skip the run; you felt like coffee and pancakes. 

You padded on your bare feet slowly from your bedroom to the kitchen. Blearily, you grabbed the coffee pot and filled it with water. Setting up the coffee pot, you clicked the ON button and waited, your forehead resting against the fridge. You made a sight, you knew. You’d forgotten to grab your robe, so you were standing only in tank top and girl’s boxers. You didn’t care. You only cared about the coffee. 

And then something smacked your ass. You turned quickly, instinct fueling your arm, grabbing the neck of whoever it was and slammed them against the fridge. 

“Hey, hey, hey!” You didn’t register the voice immediately. Hands grabbed your arm and pulled you off. You blinked. 

“Oh, it’s you.” You took a step back. 

“Yeah, just me.” Dean peered at you, rubbing his neck. You backed up against the island and rubbed the sleep from your eyes. You watched as your hands shook. “What’s up with you?” Dean asked. 

“I was up late with Sam.” 

“Say no more.” He grinned. You flipped him off. 

“We were doing research, which is more than I can say for you, Mr. I’m Going To Marathon Star Wars.” Finally, you managed to get your eyes open. Dean was already up and dressed in his usually jeans, plaid, and boots. You blinked. “Why are you up this early?” 

“Case.” Sam said loudly as he came into the kitchen. “We were waiting for you to get up before we left.” You held up your index finger, grunting as you turned off the coffee and then retrieved a mug from the cabinet. You poured your coffee within an inch of the brim and then got a spoon from one of the drawers. Opening the freezer, you grabbed a couple ice cubes and dropped them in your coffee. 

“She’s real chipper in the mornings, can’t you tell?” Sam said, sitting down on one of the stools by the island. 

“A chip off the ole’ block.” Dean replied. You lifted the mug up and turned to them. 

“Fuck both of y’all.” You closed your eyes and took a tentative sip of your coffee. Warm and bitter. Another sip and you felt much better. A third and you opened your eyes again. “So, potential gorgon in Junction City.” 

“Yup,” Dean said, grabbing a to-go mug from a cabinet. You moved across the kitchen to let him get to the coffee and sat down beside Sam, your shoulder brushing his. Dean turned, putting the lid back on his mug. “And you get to babysit Cas while we’re gone.” You whistled. 

“You’re putting me in charge of a wavelength of celestial intent? I could get in so much trouble.” You nudged Sam’s arm with your elbow, and he looked down at you, dimples deepened. You felt a quiver at the base of your spine. “Or… Dean, you can take Cas and I’ll babysit Sam.” You looked back at Sam with a grin plastered on your face. Sam’s face flushed, but he smiled too, his dimples at 100%. 

“I’m sure that would be the other way around.” He said through his smile. You grin more, if that’s possible. 

“Oh really? You’re that confident?” You raise your eyebrows at him, and he laughs, deep and resonant. It struck a chord in you. You could feel your bravado fading, but you keep it up for his benefit. You don’t want Sam Winchester to see the grief filter back into your eyes. You glance over and wink at Dean. 

“Ah… yeah. You know what? I am confident in that.” Your eyes widen, your mouth forming an ‘o’. 

“Oh, you’d love to try, Winchester.” 

“Alright, alright! That’s enough of the sexual tension. Let’s go, Sam!” You grinned. You lived to make Dean Winchester uncomfortable. He stepped out of the kitchen, and you turned to Sam.

“In all seriousness, please be careful. Cas and I can be backup at any time, if you need it.” 

“I know. Thanks, Y/N.” You watched him follow Dean. 

You sat still for several moments, trying to pin down the gut-wrenching terror you were feeling. Holding up your hands, you saw they were still shaking, and it felt as if the pit of your stomach had dropped. Frowning, you stood. Pancakes would help your stomach. You got out a pan and the pancake mix. Crouching down, you retrieved a mixing bowl. Following the directions, you finally poured out the pancake mix into the pan on the stove. 

“Hello, Y/N.” A voice came from behind you. 

“Hey, Cas! Sam and Dean just left.” You flipped the pancake. 

“Yes, I know. I was just perusing the library.” You glance over your shoulder and saw that the angel had sat down at the island. 

“Figured. You want a pancake?” 

“No, thank you.” 

“More for me.” You both fall silent as you finish making your pancakes. Pulling the butter out of the fridge, you quickly lather your pancakes in it. You place your plate on the island to let them cool while you clean up your mess. Once everything is washed and put away, you pull a stool to the other side of the island and look at Cas over your pancakes. 

“You’re not used to just sitting still, are you?” You ask. You could answer the question easily enough for yourself, but you didn’t want to sit in silence right now. The angel wasn’t the greatest conversationalist, but it was better than the dread she felt. You started to cut your pancakes up in pieces. 

“No, but Dean says I just complicate cases if I’m on them.” The angel rested his clasped hands on top of the island. You took a bite. 

“Yeah, well, Dean can be an ass.” You say around a mouthful. You swallowed. “He probably just gets secondhand embarrassment or something and won’t admit it.” You watch as Cas squints his eyes. 

“Secondhand embarrassment?” 

“It’s like if you see someone doing something embarrassing and you feel it too. It’s not you but you still feel the embarrassment.” You stuff another two bits into your mouth. 

“That makes sense. I am not great when it comes to human conventions, especially conversation.” 

“Pfft. You do fine, don’t let Dean tell you differently. People will just see you as quirky or weird. And that’s okay.” You finish eating your pancakes and set the plate and fork in the sink. You’ll wash them later. You motion to Cas. “Come on. I want to pick your magnanimous brain of yours over the lore Sam and I dug up.” Cas followed. 

-

The gorgon – deriving from the Greek word gorgos, meaning dreadful – was typically a female mythological figure with living snakes for hair and could turned those who looked upon her visage to stone. The case in Junction City included three suspicious petrifactions, and the gorgon was only one of their theories. Depending upon the dissonance between myth and reality, there were a number of things that could cause it. 

While Cas and you have been going over the lore, Sam had called to let you know they’d made it there safely and to knock some more ideas off of you. He and Dean were on their way to the hospital to see what they could find out. When you had come in their lives, Sam hadn’t made it a point to keep in touch. They’d work a case and she’d see them when they got back to the Bunker, unless they had a question that the Bunker’s library may have. But the last two cases, he’d called just to check-in. You were grateful for that in a way. 

“Something’s bothering you.” Cas said from his seat opposite you. You had another vampire book propped up to the side, and you were only half paying attention. 

“What?” You asked, glancing up. 

“You seem anxious.” 

“Not really. I mean, back when I was working cases, you should’ve seen how nervous I got. Several people were killed while I was getting my nervousness under control. Now, I don’t have to worry about it. I don’t have to worry about getting cold feet or second-guessing myself.” 

“You can’t save everyone. If you hadn’t worked those cases, more people would have ended up dead.” Cas said it so matter-of-factly that you couldn’t argue with him. It seemed a brighter side of the responsibility she felt. Kerri Sanders had died because she second-guessed her theory of a werewolf. Mason Jenkins was the victim of a vengeful spirit. Melody Pratt was possessed by a demon, and you’d killed her during the exorcism. You could name the rest. You had them memorized, the people you let down. 

“I just wonder…sometimes… It never seems to end, does it? The evil out there?” You couldn’t look at Cas, with her brooding eyes. Instead, you looked at the bookshelves. Years of lore just sitting there, wasting away. If you could organize everything, you could be the next Bobby Singer of hunters. You could put your name on the wire. You could be the Hunting Consultant, Man of Letters. Or Woman of Letters. Yeah, that sounded nice.

“There is a lot of good out there, too, Y/N. If my experience among humans counts for anything, it is that you are a hopeful species. So what if the bad outweighs the good, the good is always worth fighting for.” You take pause and look at Cas. 

“You ever watch Lord of the Rings? You just reminded me of that just now.” Cas squinted at you and you realized perhaps you should have left it unsaid. You sit up, resting your elbows on the table, letting out a sigh. 

“Sam made me watch them actually.” Cas said. You let out a laugh. 

“That doesn’t surprise me.” 

“Sam is a good man.” He said it maybe a little too knowingly. 

-

It was late in the evening when Dean called. Dean never called unless it was an emergency. You immediately go into panic mode, which you know won’t help the situation. 

“Hey, Y/N. I need you and Cas here pronto. Sam’s been…well, he’s been turned to stone. Not real stone, but like the petrification and whatnot. And I have a good idea where the bitch is, so I just need some back up.” You ask him where he’s at, and he tells you at the Geary Community Hospital. You tell him that you and Cas will be there as soon as possible. With Cas, you meant minutes. 

You aren’t prepared to see Sam in that state. His eyes open and staring at the ceiling, arm held out like he’s shaking someone’s hand. Dean takes Cas aside to talk strategy, but you don’t care. You sit in the chair next to Sam’s bed. You finally recognize what you’re feeling. 

“Y/N, we’re going to get this thing.” Dean said as he walked up to you. You clench your fists, your eyes on Sam’s face. 

“I want to come.” 

“No. I want you to be here if he wakes up. Now, tell me more about this gorgon thing.” You bite your lip, tearing your eyes from Sam. 

“You already said that the three victims have one particular family in common, so I’m going on the theory that the gorgon has been summoned up as a protective entity. Find the source of the summoning and destroy it. If that doesn’t work, use a mirror.” 

“You think a gorgon can petrify an angel?” Your eyes widen and you look at Cas. 

“I have absolutely no idea.” 

-

You couldn’t help but stare at Sam, even when you were pacing. Your pacing afforded you glances at the other petrified victims. The doctors and nurses seemed put out that they couldn’t diagnose what was going on. You sat back down only to get up again a moment later. It felt like hours, though only forty-five minutes had passed. You wanted this to be over. You wanted Sam to wake up and see your face. You bent over him, staring at his soft, pink lips and wondering what it would be like to kiss them. Then you felt like a weirdo and sat back down. You bounced your leg up and down, and you rubbed at the scars on your neck. 

When he woke, his arm dropped. His eyes fluttered. You stood and slipped your hand into his. His eyes blinked away the water in them and landed on your face. You smiled as best you could. 

“Hey, Sam.” Was all you could say. 

“Hey, good looking.” Sam said with a smile. There was a flurry of activity as the other victims woke, and you had to move out of the way for one nurse who came to check Sam’s vitals. Seemingly satisfied, the nurse left to consult with the doctor. Dean and Cas came back. 

“What happened?” Sam asked. Dean told him about the gorgon and how Cas had distracted it once they found out it couldn’t petrify him. Then, Dean had destroyed the altar-like thing they’d found in the basement of the house. You could believe that they’d come up with a foolhardy plan like Cas distracting the gorgon; any number of things could have gone wrong. You glance down at Sam again. He’d taken your hand. 

“Shall we get you out of here?” You ask. Sam wholeheartedly agrees. 

-

You’re sitting in the library again hours later. There’d been no adverse effects on Sam so far, which you considered a good thing. He’d taken a shower and headed to bed soon after you’d all gotten back to the Bunker. You couldn’t sleep, and you didn’t want to admit why. Instead, you sat with your legs propped on the table, leaning back with Anne Rice. You were on the second book of her Vampire Chronicles. 

You had been reading for maybe an hour when you hear a shuffle behind you. You lay your head back and see Sam approaching, his hair a mess. 

“Can’t sleep?” You ask. He shuffles over opposite of you and sits down. 

“Not really. I just keep tossing and turning.” He said. You nod sympathetically. If you were being honest with yourself, you were glad he was there. There was a pause. Your eyes met. 

“You want to know why I can’t stop reading about vampires?” Tossing the book up on the table, you sat forward, legs tucked under you. 

“Tell me.” Sam prompted. You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. 

“I was married. We had a child, four years old. And one night, I heard something. I thought maybe Henry had gotten out of bed. And then I realized that my husband wasn’t in bed with me. He worked late hours, but he’d always crawl in bed with me, easy peas-y. Never woke me. But I got up and went to Henry’s room. At first, I didn’t understand what was going on. My husband was bent over Henry’s bed, and then he pounced on me. He tore my neck open and I tried to fight him. But he was too strong. And I couldn’t…the pain was too much.” 

You reached up and rubbed the scars on your neck. Sam didn’t speak. He just watched you. You pulled your hand away from your neck and fumbled with the book. You couldn’t meet Sam’s eyes. 

“Hey…” He reached out and took your hands, holding them firmly in his. Then, he got up and came around beside you, kneeling in front of you. You finally looked up. “I don’t want to replace your family, but…” 

“You wouldn’t be.” You interrupted. Like a landslide, you fell into him. Your small pink lips met his and you could hear a bell go off in your mind. This is why you were scared and nervous. You’d fallen in love.


End file.
